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If you’ve attended one of my Coaching seminars you know I’m obsessed with the importance of Building Rapport, I’ve actually blogged about Rapport earlier and talked about how it’s an absolute  MUST if you’re serious about any kind of professional (and personal) success.

You have to be comfortable, confident and brilliant at building rapport if you want to:

• Inspire and motivate a team of people working for you to GO to the next level (without you having to drag them there);
• Sell MORE with LESS effort;
• Have a difficult conversation with an underperformer;
• Land a new job or more importantly, your DREAM job;
• Enhance your reputation at work;
• Negotiate with your boss for a pay rise;
• Attract talented people into your business;
• Build a legion of loyal customers;

…and the list goes on.

In this blog, I’m sharing with you  a snippet of an interview Andrew Denton did with Nigella Lawson.   It’s a perfect example of what NOT to do.

Now this is IMPORTANT…As you read the transcript ask yourself if Andrew is:

1. Focussing on his guest, Nigella;
2. Letting Nigella know he appreciates what she does;
3. Helping her feel good in his company;
4. Creating a good impression about his show;
5. Concerned about his personal brand (and his show’s brand)
6. Making Nigella feel like she’s important; and
7. Treating her as a valued guest.

Nigella Lawson

ANDREW DENTON:

I have a bit of an awkward confession to make. I find food to be frankly an interruption to the day. It is not that I do not like it, but for me it is basically a fuel stop – and why that is awkward is that Nigella Lawson thinks exactly the opposite. She is a food critic, writer, broadcaster and all round food lover.   Nigella Lawson. Welcome Nigella.

NIGELLA LAWSON: Less of the all round please.

ANDREW DENTON: I do apologise. [laugh]

ANDREW DENTON: We’ve got off to a bad start. You say that food is about being alive. I clearly miss this point. What am I missing?

NIGELLA LAWSON: Well you clearly understand that in a sense you realise you need food to survive.

ANDREW DENTON: Mmm.

NIGELLA LAWSON: I’m sure that as much as you say that food is a fuel stop, you probably do have dinner with people because you want to spend time with them. You don’t just sit around an empty table. I presume.

ANDREW DENTON: No that’s true, but I do kind of like to be over quickly.

NIGELLA LAWSON: Yes I think that’s a great loss for you.

Now I’ve only written down the first couple of minutes of the interview for you so you get a sense of how he opened up with an “invited” guest.  I still clearly remember watching the show with my wife Lina as if it was yesterday.  We were both blown away with his intro and without saying a word we slowly turned and looked at each other with our mouths WIDE open – think Luna Park wide!

I’m NOT an Andrew Denton ‘hater’ at all and I’m not aiming to discredit him, I just want to give you a clear example of what NOT to do when you’re trying to build rapport with someone or even a group of people, especially if you have a different view.

Now go back to the 7 points I asked you to focus on while you were reading the transcript….how did Denton do on those seven points?

Well, in a nutshell the intro is all about him and food (what Nigella is known for worldwide)  is an interruption to the day.

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL

Okay, I’m going to repeat that earlier sentence because I want you to get the key point, “the intro is all about him and food is an interruption to the day.”

Can you relate to that?  I hope not…I mean I hope you don’t do it or have ever been on the end of it.

So how do you approach people that seem to be on a completely different wavelength to you?

Come on…don’t just answer this in your head – go back and look at the 7 points and be honest about how you REALLY interact with people when you just don’t get their point of view or think their view of the world is warped.

Go out of your way to make someone’s day (go on REALLY DO IT) AND for practical tips on rapport check out my earlier post here – Rapport…your ticket to PLAY

Success and nothing less,

Dave Lourdes