I recently started coaching CIO, Marcus Darbyshire as part of my Private Partnership Program and one of the first things we did was my Whole Brain Intelligence package.  We did this so Marcus could understand how to unlock even more of his leadership potential and massively increase his level of performance and productivity to start achieving his most important goals with less effort.

As we were walking into his office I immediately noticed some writing on his glass wall and when I took a closer look I thought WOW!  Not because Marcus has above average intelligence – he’s a passionate Hawthorn fan but because his office window had a MOTIVATIONAL ‘quote of the week’ to inspire himself and his team to kick goals.  The positive effect was so obvious that just walking through the office I could feel the ‘buzz’ in the air.

Marcus

I was really impressed and thought how cool is that?  As a CIO Marcus has done plenty of impressive things but it was his ‘graffiti’ style approach that I just loved because it sets him apart as a leader that’s willing to do out of the ordinary fun stuff to keep the energy, motivation and performance of his team up.

Keeping up motivation and performance is critical when you consider that Marcus looks after a team of over 50 IT professionals. He uses these motivational quotes to reinforce his company’s values and encourage his team to think POSITIVELY and talk openly about having the RIGHT attitude to business.   Don’t think he stops there either, Marcus also just installed a wall mounted LCD in his department to promote his team’s PERFORMANCE and customer testimonials.

Marcus reckons he has the BEST job in the company – and I think he MAKES it the best job in the company!

He’s also got an A1 profile page on LinkedIn, which also links to his technology blog…so check it out.  Did I mention Marcus is in the top 20 leading CIOs who are active bloggers?

Take a leaf out of Marcus’ book, add a dose of creativity and fun to your job and/or team.

Success and nothing less,

Dave Lourdes

]]> http://www.davelourdes.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=338 0 http://www.davelourdes.com/blog/?p=364 http://www.davelourdes.com/blog/?p=364#comments Wed, 07 Apr 2010 22:45:00 +0000 admin http://www.davelourdes.com/blog/?p=364 Whether it’s your last new year’s resolution, a goal you set yourself 12 months ago or even a dream you had when you were younger, if you haven’t achieved it yet or put it on the back burner (in some cases maybe you’ve just given up) the very first thing you need to do is STOP beating yourself up over it.  The reason is, it’s highly likely that you weren’t crystal clear about EXACTLY what you REALLY wanted in the first place.

Up the Creek Without a Paddle

I want to share something with you that I learned way back in 1990 from Tony Robbins, and it’s something that I accredit many of my business and personal achievements to.  By  APPLYING this powerful, yet devastatingly simple strategy that Tony refers to as the ultimate success formula, YOU WILL reap what I call your Resolution Rewards.

When you see the formula, you’ll probably say to yourself “oh that’s common sense”.  The only problem is, it’s common sense but NOT common PRACTICE, so don’t just read it and think you know it and understand it.  Knowing it and understanding it counts for absolutely NOTHING.  If you’re not going to do something with your knowledge you’re still up the creek!

Seriously, as a coach and speaker I’m absolutely passionate about sharing leading edge strategies from the field of human performance, business excellence and marketing with as many people as I can everyday but I get so sick and tired of the hoards of Know-it-Alls.  These are people who see a strategy that can MASSIVELY impact their success and they sabotage their results by telling themselves that they already ’know’ it or they’re too embarrassed to admit they can learn something from another source.  The sad thing is, it’s all a big cover up for their shortcomings and lack of action.  You’ll be far more impressive and inspiring if you become a Do-it-All© (sounds like a top post for another day) and ditch the know-it-all mindset permanently.

So, if you want to get your Resolution Rewards follow the ultimate success formula.  It’s a four-step process for achieving ANY result in ANY area of your life.  I know you’re ready to learn it, so here it is!

Step 1. Know your desired outcome.  What is your target?  If you ain’t got one…you can’t hit one!  You may have heard the old saying, “If you aim for nothing you’ve got a great chance of hitting it” – never were truer words spoken.  Have you ever met someone who was complaining about their job, or their business, or their partner or sometimes even their whole life?  Then you ask them what DO they want, and they either give you the dummy stare and say, “I dunno” or they start telling you all the things they DON’T want.  Well they’ll never make progress because they don’t know their OUTCOME.

Step 2. Take massive action towards your outcome. No point talking about it or thinking about it – TAKE ACTION.  You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.  So if you’re one of these people who spend all their time preparing and planning I’ve got a message for you…in the words of Eliza Doolittle from My Fair Lady, “Come on, Dover, move your bloomin’ ass!“  Who cares what happens?  Even if you get it wrong, you’re still one step closer because now you know what ‘not to do’.

Step 3.  Sensory acuity – notice what’s working and what’s not working. This is simply a matter of focusing on the evidence.  With all the action you’re taking, are you getting closer or further away from your target.  You’ve got to be a really keen observer of your progress here and be brutally honest with yourself.  Go with your gut and if you’re spending too much time, effort or money on a strategy that’s not getting you closer to what you want (or the progress is waaaaaaay to slow) -  STOP IT.

Step 4.  Realign your approach until you reach Step 1 -  YOUR OUTCOME. How ridiculously logical does that sound?!  I’m sure you know some people who just keep making the same mistakes over and over and over again….AND for some reason they’re expecting a different result.  The bottom line here is, if you want different DO different!

Now you know it… c’mon become a Do-it-All©.

Success and nothing less,

Dave Lourdes

You have to be comfortable, confident and brilliant at building rapport if you want to:

• Inspire and motivate a team of people working for you to GO to the next level (without you having to drag them there);
• Sell MORE with LESS effort;
• Have a difficult conversation with an underperformer;
• Land a new job or more importantly, your DREAM job;
• Enhance your reputation at work;
• Negotiate with your boss for a pay rise;
• Attract talented people into your business;
• Build a legion of loyal customers;

…and the list goes on.

In this blog, I’m sharing with you  a snippet of an interview Andrew Denton did with Nigella Lawson.   It’s a perfect example of what NOT to do.

Now this is IMPORTANT…As you read the transcript ask yourself if Andrew is:

1. Focussing on his guest, Nigella;
2. Letting Nigella know he appreciates what she does;
3. Helping her feel good in his company;
4. Creating a good impression about his show;
5. Concerned about his personal brand (and his show’s brand)
6. Making Nigella feel like she’s important; and
7. Treating her as a valued guest.

Nigella Lawson

ANDREW DENTON:

I have a bit of an awkward confession to make. I find food to be frankly an interruption to the day. It is not that I do not like it, but for me it is basically a fuel stop – and why that is awkward is that Nigella Lawson thinks exactly the opposite. She is a food critic, writer, broadcaster and all round food lover.   Nigella Lawson. Welcome Nigella.

NIGELLA LAWSON: Less of the all round please.

ANDREW DENTON: I do apologise. [laugh]

ANDREW DENTON: We’ve got off to a bad start. You say that food is about being alive. I clearly miss this point. What am I missing?

NIGELLA LAWSON: Well you clearly understand that in a sense you realise you need food to survive.

ANDREW DENTON: Mmm.

NIGELLA LAWSON: I’m sure that as much as you say that food is a fuel stop, you probably do have dinner with people because you want to spend time with them. You don’t just sit around an empty table. I presume.

ANDREW DENTON: No that’s true, but I do kind of like to be over quickly.

NIGELLA LAWSON: Yes I think that’s a great loss for you.

Now I’ve only written down the first couple of minutes of the interview for you so you get a sense of how he opened up with an “invited” guest.  I still clearly remember watching the show with my wife Lina as if it was yesterday.  We were both blown away with his intro and without saying a word we slowly turned and looked at each other with our mouths WIDE open – think Luna Park wide!

I’m NOT an Andrew Denton ‘hater’ at all and I’m not aiming to discredit him, I just want to give you a clear example of what NOT to do when you’re trying to build rapport with someone or even a group of people, especially if you have a different view.

Now go back to the 7 points I asked you to focus on while you were reading the transcript….how did Denton do on those seven points?

Well, in a nutshell the intro is all about him and food (what Nigella is known for worldwide)  is an interruption to the day.

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL

Okay, I’m going to repeat that earlier sentence because I want you to get the key point, “the intro is all about him and food is an interruption to the day.”

Can you relate to that?  I hope not…I mean I hope you don’t do it or have ever been on the end of it.

So how do you approach people that seem to be on a completely different wavelength to you?

Come on…don’t just answer this in your head – go back and look at the 7 points and be honest about how you REALLY interact with people when you just don’t get their point of view or think their view of the world is warped.

Go out of your way to make someone’s day (go on REALLY DO IT) AND for practical tips on rapport check out my earlier post here – Rapport…your ticket to PLAY

Success and nothing less,

Dave Lourdes

]]> http://www.davelourdes.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=309 5 http://www.davelourdes.com/blog/?p=290 http://www.davelourdes.com/blog/?p=290#comments Thu, 25 Feb 2010 03:57:12 +0000 admin http://www.davelourdes.com/blog/?p=290 In last weeks blog I posted a short video clip.  Remember the mouse and cheese?

If you didn’t see it be sure to watch it because its less than 1 minute and 30 seconds and it’s what I’m talking about in this post.

That blog post was about turning a weakness into a strength or a problem/shortcoming to a positive.  I challenged you to give it a go and also promised I’d share one of mine.

So, here it is.  Quite some time ago I missed out on a speaking gig that I was in the running for.  And to stick with the mouse analogy this gig was my Havarti (my favourite cheese).  Man, let me tell you, I could smell it and taste it.  I really, really wanted this gig and my name was all over it.

BUT, I didn’t get it and I was shattered to say the least.

What's your cheese (weakness)?

I moped around for a bit, had my head down, for a little while I felt sorry for myself and retreated into our theater room to watch my favourite Entourage and Seinfeld DVD’s… I was also eating all sorts of junk that I didn’t need.

Now I haven’t told you the whole story.  The gig I was going for was part of a long-term program that had many other components for which the company’s own internal technical trainers were responsible for delivering.  The difficulty for the client was that the momentum, energy, excitement and outcomes that I’m known for generating in my sessions couldn’t be matched by their internal technical trainers for the remainder of the program.

They actually said they wanted someone more “ordinary” so the standard wouldn’t be set so high and then make the rest of the program look average in comparison.  So I understand their reasoning and whilst it’s fundamentally floored it was the easiest thing for them to do at the time.

So just like the mouse in the video, as it lay there when it was caught in the trap I took a few deep breaths to regroup, and then all of a sudden BANG there it was, the strength, the positive I’d been missing.  Well it wasn’t really missing I just wasn’t looking for it, because I was so wrapped up in not getting the gig I couldn’t see it.

So, here’s the Top 4 things I did:

1. I slammed the brakes on in my brain and just said to myself, “NOOOOOO way… WHAT am I thinking – STOP IT!!!!”  I actually yelled out “STOP, STOP, STOP!”
2. Got on the phone to one of my long-time coaches and asked for his advice, knowing full well I was about to get my butt kicked!
3. Got even clearer about my personal brand and my STRENGTHS.  I’m fun, energetic, strong and most importantly ALL ABOUT the score on the board – the RESULTS and that’s exactly how I deliver the message.  I’m a professional speaker not a trainer.
4. Decided I’m not “ordinary” and instantly change my SELF TALK… I’m extraordinary and only want to work with other people who also want to be EXTRAORDINARY by Stepping Up to really go for outstanding outcomes NOT the safe, sensible and sanitised option otherwise known as  ‘tick the box’ classroom training.

So my weakness wasn’t missing out on the gig.  My weakness was my attitude to not getting it… AND my strength is the clarity of who I am, what I deliver and who I choose to work with.  And that was massively INVIGORATING for me.

So, if you’ve ever:

• Been overlooked for a job;
• Missed out on a promotion;
• Lost an opportunity to showcase your services or products;
• Felt hard done by because someone chose your competition over you;
• Came in 2^nd, 3^rd or even missed the medals all together; or
• Just plain old been knocked back

…it’s natural to feel the rejection and even get angry – actually if you don’t it means you’re apathetic and shouldn’t have been in the race in the first place…

But here’s the key – your level of success is directly determined by how quickly you shift your focus from the crisis (seeing your weakness) to the opportunity.

It’s all about SPEED.  Remember the mouse… if it waited too long it would’ve been too late.

So the next time you’re in an unresourceful state, I want you to remember and DO these 4 things:

1. I want you to literally yell out loud, “STOP, STOP, STOP!” – Obviously you need to use discretion with the yelling out depending on where you are.
2. Get on the phone to your coach, mentor, confidante or trusted adviser ASAP.  DO NOT call your best friend or anyone else who will validate your ‘poor me’ state and  keep you stuck – call the person who’ll kick your butt and hold you to a higher standard.
3. Quickly do a STRENGTHS inventory and focus on all the qualities that make you great, successful and valuable.
4. Change your SELF TALK instantly – I mean it, start talking to yourself in a strong, animated way and go on rant about why you are AWESOME, UNIQUE and INCREDIBLY VALUABLE.  Look, I know this may sound a bit weird to you, but did you know the major difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is the way they talk to themselves?

Now  if you know someone who can tend to focus on their weaknesses every now and again make sure you share this with them.

Catch ya next time where I’ll be doing my very first Video blog.

Success and nothing less,

Dave Lourdes

So, consider for a minute a weakness/problem/shortcoming (like the cheese) you have in your career, business, relationships or life and see if there isn’t something about it that you can turn to a positive or make a strength.

Of course there’s no use just considering and seeing it.  You have to do something…

C’mon do it!

Just pick one small thing and do it today.  And then share it with us.

I’ll do mine as well and share it in my next blog.

Success and nothing less,

Dave Lourdes

MOANday,
TEARSday,
WASTEday,
THIRSTday,
FIGHTday.

Seriously though, there are some common traits that are alive and well to some degree in all Toxic Teams and the reason I’m giving them to you is because sometimes you’re in a Toxic Team and you don’t even know it!  As human beings we are very good at adapting to our environment so what this means is, we can sometimes not only endure highly stressful or demoralising situations BUT actually trick ourselves into thinking what’s happening is ‘okay’ or ‘normal’.

So here are The Top 5 traits of Toxic Teams you need to know about:

1. Favouritism – It is very clear to you that there are some people who have somehow been anointed and are part of the ‘in’ group.  These ‘special’ people get preferential treatment, the best performance reviews, the biggest bonuses, taken to lunch with the boss and when they underperform the manager looks the other way.
2. Snakes in Suits – The manager hardly ever acknowledges you or anyone else in the team for that matter for the great work they do because they’re too busy taking credit for everyone else’s hard work.  You sometimes wonder if the boss even knows your name…the bottom line is, these managers have no time for anyone that cannot further their OWN career and when things go well they’re right there to accept the kudos and when they go badly they’re Missing in Action.
3. Mind Numbing Meetings – You dread the meetings and will do anything to get out of them because they’re disorganised, start late, always run over time, are dominated by grandstanders, no one ever follows through on agreed action items and last but not least…they’re BOOOOOOOOOOORING!!!!!!!!
4. The Mirror Treatment – “We’ll look into it.”  You know this one don’t you?  Every time you need something fixed, need some action taken or waiting to hear the outcome of an important decision you get that famous throwaway line, “We’ll look into it.”  Funnily enough these are the same managers that invite your suggestions or feedback for improvement only to ignore them!  Sometimes there’s even a nice little box where you can put your comments…just to give you a bit of false hope that things may change.
5. The YES Man (or woman) – If you’re working for a YES Man it’s excruciatingly frustrating!  They won’t make a decision, they’re always REACTIVE because of poor planning, you don’t know if you’re coming or going due to constantly changing priorities and you end up with work from other departments because your boss CAN’T SAY NO.

Now the good news…whether you’re running a Toxic Team, maybe you inherited one or you’re working in one, in future posts I’m going to share some ‘Get Out of Jail’ strategies that will help you break free and get your groove back.  Stay tuned…

Success and nothing less,

Australia’s Personal Potential Provocateur

PS: If you are fed up and want to take action now check this out – Team Building

]]> http://www.davelourdes.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=211 2 http://www.davelourdes.com/blog/?p=204 http://www.davelourdes.com/blog/?p=204#comments Fri, 29 Jan 2010 01:10:51 +0000 admin http://www.davelourdes.com/blog/?p=204 You’re on the phone – ‘DING!’,

Someone’s at your desk discussing a project – ‘DING!’

You’re having a coffee – ‘DING!’

DING! DING! DING!

If it’s not a DING then it’s a different sound or alert letting you know that another email has been delivered to your Inbox.  And as if it’s not enough to be getting them on your computer, now there’s the trusty Blackberry, iPhone and so on.

Here’s something interesting – 70% of email alerts get a reaction within 6 seconds.  And it takes 64 seconds to recover your train of thought after an interruption by email.  So, let’s do the math.  If you check your emails every 5 minutes that means in a week you can waste 8.5hrs trying to get back to where you were before the email interruption.  You may not think you check your emails that often, but just for the next 48hrs take notice or keep score in your head and I bet you’ll be surprised with how often you do this… and leave a comment on the blog and let me know if it was more than you thought.

About 5 years ago I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and keeping up with email was a major issue because I couldn’t work for long periods of time.  At its peak I had 690 emails in my Inbox awaiting action… I was freaking out big time!

I had to do something fast… something out of the ordinary, something from left field and even a little provocative.

For 3 weeks I implemented the following strategy which got me back on top of my emails, reduced my stress and had a positive effect on my health – an awesome BONUS!

1. Turn off any alert, sound, notification, pop-up, flashes or alarm that’s capable of being heard or seen on your email program.
2. Turn off your automatic send/receive and do it manually OR extend the timeframe, which transfers email to your inbox as soon as someone sends you something.
3. ONLY check your email twice per day, once at midday or 30 minutes prior to lunch, and again at 4:00pm.  12pm and 4pm are the best times to make sure you have plenty of responses to your previously sent emails.  Ignore your email for the rest of the day.
4. DO NOT check email first thing in the morning.  ALWAYS start your day with COMPLETING your TWO most important tasks before 11:00am.
5. You MUST avoid using lunch or reading email as ‘creative avoidance’ to getting your most IMPORTANT, most URGENT tasks completed.

When you implement these steps make sure you you let people know, maybe you could include a note at the bottom of your emails or use an auto-response message to educate your peers, direct reports, boss, other colleagues, suppliers, and clients to understand your intention and help them be more effective when communicating with you. Also let them know if there is an urgent matter they need to call you.

Here’s a sample auto-response message:

Hi X,

Thanks for your email.

To keep focussed on my workload I am only checking email at 11:30am and 4pm.

If you have anything urgent that can’t wait please call me on xxx so that I can address the matter quickly.

Thank you and have a great day!

If your Management isn’t in favour of  your strategy put forward the idea of a 2 week trial to alleviate any of their concerns.

Like I said, I used this for 3 weeks and it worked.  You may only need to do it for a few days.  Some people use it every single day… that’s right, it’s their permanent way of handling emails and they swear by it.

If you have any doubt that this would work for you – just try it!  You have to discipline yourself to follow your own rules.

Success and nothing less,

PS – It doesn’t stop there, if you want more advanced strategies and knowledge that I share with my clients and you want to become a Productivity Powerhouse you have to understand your Thinking Preferences.

Do you set real and meaningful goals for yourself?

As a professional speaker and executive coach I always get to ask people if they set goals, and if I had a dollar for every answer like this, “oh yeah, of course I do”, I’d have enough cash to start my own airline.  But here’s the thing, if I had a dollar for every person I know that actually followed through and took action, I wouldn’t have enough to catch a bus to the airport.

Now I know you’ve been to a seminar, read a motivational book, seen something on television (maybe a reality where people are losing weight or launching businesses) or met someone who has motivated you to set yourself a goal AND you tell yourself, “this time I’m serious!”.  But then life happens and you re-schedule and decide to re-launch your quest to achieve your goals …the most common one I hear is, “I’m going to start again on MONDAY” – which is code for, I’ll just cut myself some slack AGAIN.  So what stops YOU from following through?

In my seminars I reveal a 7 STEP fool proof system I developed for guaranteeing you take action and achieve ANY goal you set for yourself.  My favourite step in the 7 STEP system is STEP 4, which is, DECLARE – tell as many people as you can. The reason I love this step is because it’s the easiest one and other people do the work for you.  Think about it, don’t you feel good when you help someone and don’t you also feel a sense of achievement knowing you had a hand in helping another person achieve their goals?  The answer is YES – we all like helping each other out, especially our friends.   The other reason I love STEP 4 is because it keeps you accountable to other people.

Below are some excerpts from an email I received from Fiona on 19th February 2009, and it’s an awesome example of how Fiona put STEP 4 into practice and is right now, at this minute in Bangalore, India.

Hi Dave,

The second one is far more exciting. I’m an Operations grad and with all the movement that’s going on between Australia and India, I figured “surely graduates in Operations would benefit from rotation in Bangalore.” So, it was with this proposition that I approached the head of the operations team, where I am doing my second rotation, and with whom I have regular catch ups. I was expecting him to remind me of the economic crisis, the credit crunch, and that he was impressed with my motivation and drive, but these things don’t happen just like that.

I know you’re probably busy with the new 2009 grads, and wowing their socks off as you did with us last year, but just wanted to shoot you a quick email to say thank you for helping me achieve two amazing things over the last 12 months – one personal, one work related.
At Go Week last year, you were talking about the importance of having goals, and telling as many people as possible, as they’d help you achieve them. I had two: to go to the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics and to go to Bangalore for one of my graduate rotations.

I love winter, and to ski, and have always wanted to go to Canada. Speaking to someone about it during one of those “get to know your neighbour and tell them your goals” 60sec chats we did during one of your sessions, a simple throw-away line of “oh that sounds awesome, you should have a look on line about tickets” got the wheels in motion. Two of my brothers and I put in for the ticket ballot late last year, and we found out a few weeks ago that we got most of those we requested, so we’re going in Feb next year. Definitely an adventure that wouldn’t be on the cards had you not reinforced that the more people we tell, the more accountable for our goals we become.

To my surprise, that’s not quite how the conversation ran. He thought it was an excellent idea and potential opportunity, and I left the room with him saying “can’t promise anything, but I’m going to float the idea with a few people and see what they think.” One thing led to another, and my marvellous sponsor, along with other amazing key people across operations, have made it a reality.

I’ll be leaving in about a month, details still to be finalised, and I cannot wait! It’ll be tremendous, scary, eye-opening, developing, exciting….all rolled into one. So thank-you for planting the seeds, really feels like things are in full bloom at the moment!

ACTION STEP - write down ONE bold and meaningful PROFESSIONAL goal and ONE courageous and meaningful PERSONAL goal…RIGHT NOW.

For your PROFESSIONAL goal you may think about the next role you want, the next company you want to work for, the next country you want to work in, a career change, achieving a target that would blow your bosses mind or even taking someone under your wing to help them run up the ladder of success TWO rungs at a time.

For your PERSONAL GOAL you may think about totally transforming your body into a lean, mean fighting machine (12% body fat), going to a world class personal achievement seminar (like Tony Robbins’ Date with Destiny on the Gold Coast QLD in April 2009), going away to a country you have never visited before, gifting your parents a weekend away, taking someone you love to a romantic destination as a surprise or even just getting back into a hobby you enjoy.

So write down your PROFESSIONAL and PERSONAL goal and tell at least 5 people within the next 24 hours.  If you have the guts and really want make yourself accountable you can post it on your BLOG, Facebook profile or twitter account.

DO it, DO IT now AND Rock on to RESULTS!

P.S. I know Fiona Looker personally and I can tell you she is an AWESOME example of balancing RESULTS with RELATIONSHIPS – what I mean by that is, she’s well on her way to the top but will not burn anyone to get there.

The secret – Be The MOST POSITIVE Person YOU KNOW

THINK ABOUT THIS - Have you ever noticed how you are just drawn to some people?  When they walk in the room, you just can’t stop staring at them.  You want to be around them, you hope they will notice you and just give you some little sign, no matter how small, that they notice you…you may even seek their approval.  WHY?  What is it they possess that makes them so intriguing, inspiring, attractive or appealing?  The truth is, you have the EXACT same qualities as them.  If YOU spot it, YOU’VE got it! You can only admire a quality in another person if you also have that quality – so that’s the good news.

Now the not so good news, most people have no clue that they have qualities, talents and gifts that others find attractive.  Most of us like playing things down, you know, keeping a lid on it would rather shrink instead of SHINE.  After coaching people for many years, here’s one thing I’ve noticed; there are so many of us that would never ever even dream of admitting to ourselves, let alone others, that we are incredible, awesome, amazing, intelligent, inspirational and the list goes on.  In fact, I find it so crazy that so many people actually feel like publicly acknowledging their strengths is a negative quality.   For whatever reason, we can tell ourselves that letting people know what we’re great at is equivalent to bragging, showing off or being cocky.  I’ve met people where I couldn’t find their strengths with a search warrant.  They are so hell bent on PLAYING SMALL, that finding their strengths is an exhaustive hunt that feels like trying to find the Da Vinci Code!

NEWSFLASH – There are things you can do that no one else in the world can do.  There is something that you are THE BEST in the world at!

So what are you the BEST AT?  Is it inspiring people, is it being cool under pressure, is it caring about other people, is it having an entrepreneurial mind, is it setting goals, is it being a kick arse planner, is it always raising people’s spirits…you get the drift.

So what does this have to do with being attractive? You can NEVER be attractive to other people unless you are first attractive to yourself.  Now I know you may be thinking, “what the hell does that mean?”  It simply means acknowledging to yourself that you possess amazing qualities.  I know you still may be thinking, “yeah so what does this have to do with being attractive?”.

So here’s the answer.  Self acknowledgement leads to self confidence AND self confidence, is the key to maintaining a POSITIVE mindset.

REMEMBER – Be The MOST POSITIVE Person YOU KNOW.  Instead of explaining why, I’ll ask you some questions.

Would you rather spend your time with the Grim Reaper or the person who’s your Cheerleader?

Do you enjoy spending your time with people who take your energy or people who GIVE you energy?

Have you got friends that are needy, whingers, complainers or drama queens…if you have, do you want to run towards them or run AWAY from them?

Do you love the company of the sarcastic smart arse or the genuinely funny person who if they have to make a joke about someone, they make it about themselves?

Qualities that REPEL others – sarcasm,  gossiping, being a victim, neediness, low energy, cynicism, bragging, showing no emotion, inability to apologise, not recognising others contributions, being stingy with compliments, talking yourself up, talking others down, greediness, attention seeking, sucking up to people, cracking personal jokes without any rapport amongst, being too busy for people who are lower than you on the corporate ladder others.

Qualities that ATTRACT others – warmth, laughter, generousity, holding the door open for someone, saying good morning/good night/have a nice weekend, praising people publicly/privately, saying sorry, treating ALL people equally, forgiveness, humility, intelligence, openness, acceptance, congruence, straight forwardness, reliability, keeping commitments, thanking people for their time, creating value for others without asking for anything in return and more.

ACTION STEP – No one ever ruined their eyesight by looking on the bright side.  Do ONE thing daily to make someones day?  Acknowledge a co-worker, compliment someone, acknowledge how much you value a friend, leave a surprise hand written note of thanks, tell someones boss how good they are, be the first to say sorry, call instead of text/email and KEEP doing it.  Do this and you will more people throwing themselves at you than you can handle.  Do it, do it NOW.

Rock on & B-a-STAR